another shot-down
Ok...I have just getting myself into more and more shits....
I'm bascially torn between whether to be Thupten's gf or not...not like its a bad thing...just that i cant imagine myself going out with any of my best friends...he has been helping me all the time...always be there to back me up...through my ups and downs...I would have figured out his feelings to me sooner...if I did, I would not have to dealt with all these confusions...
I like him...call me insensitive...but I definitely wasnt prepared for this...
All my cousins were like "Yeah he is rich!! and he likes u!! Go for it!! Don't miss this chance"!!!!! but noone thinks about my feelings, I can't get used to an idea of getting all lovey-dovey with a man that I would never like him as much as He likes me....and I can't make use of someone just for my personal advantages...thats like the sinest thing on earth for me...my theory for my guy is any guy, no matter how poor or wealthy he is...as long as I feel that rush of feelings around him...which not yet happen with Thupten and I would be sure that it would never happen...
Arggggg I'm screwed....I'm completely screwed...How I hope I can return to the past and choose some other path...so I would never have to come accross Michael, Hamish and Thupten....and maybe some more other guys that mite pop up later....
There is a thin line in my personality that would never allow me to lie to myself or to anyone else about my feelings...cos with me, my feelings is the most important thing...I'd kill myself if I marry some rich guy without any feeling to him....
Anyway I feel better now...Not like anyone gonna read this...I dont know how BlogHi is not popular...its great and secretive...noone is gonna care...and hence u have ur privacy...
Anyway Ill cya all very very very soon...with all of my fcked up feelings....
I'm bascially torn between whether to be Thupten's gf or not...not like its a bad thing...just that i cant imagine myself going out with any of my best friends...he has been helping me all the time...always be there to back me up...through my ups and downs...I would have figured out his feelings to me sooner...if I did, I would not have to dealt with all these confusions...
I like him...call me insensitive...but I definitely wasnt prepared for this...
All my cousins were like "Yeah he is rich!! and he likes u!! Go for it!! Don't miss this chance"!!!!! but noone thinks about my feelings, I can't get used to an idea of getting all lovey-dovey with a man that I would never like him as much as He likes me....and I can't make use of someone just for my personal advantages...thats like the sinest thing on earth for me...my theory for my guy is any guy, no matter how poor or wealthy he is...as long as I feel that rush of feelings around him...which not yet happen with Thupten and I would be sure that it would never happen...
Arggggg I'm screwed....I'm completely screwed...How I hope I can return to the past and choose some other path...so I would never have to come accross Michael, Hamish and Thupten....and maybe some more other guys that mite pop up later....
There is a thin line in my personality that would never allow me to lie to myself or to anyone else about my feelings...cos with me, my feelings is the most important thing...I'd kill myself if I marry some rich guy without any feeling to him....
Anyway I feel better now...Not like anyone gonna read this...I dont know how BlogHi is not popular...its great and secretive...noone is gonna care...and hence u have ur privacy...
Anyway Ill cya all very very very soon...with all of my fcked up feelings....
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