.....MY LITTLE DIARY TO YOU....

I need some adjusments in my life and need to challenge myself for the 1st time!!! so im going to put myself in line to reach my goal!!

2007/8/11

ummm....what should I say....

@ 12:04 AM (16 months, 2 days ago)
    Stop picking up his calls, stop replying to his messages....because I dont know what to say and how to explain my feelings....I thought that today was finally gonna be a good day for us to make up for whatever happened....but no...it deepened the differences between us....
    Its almost like when you try to untie knots on a string, you end up with even more knots....and even if you do succeed, the string will never be perfectly straight again....there will be wrinkles on it....thats how I can describe the current situation....
    Why should I feel a reluctance to hold him or just hold his hands??...I want to get rid of these tensions, its so hard to deal with....
    lol....this is funny...he just called...i picked up just when he hang up...is this really what we are destined to?? then it sucks...everything sucks....

2007/8/10

ummmmm.....

@ 06:54 AM (16 months, 3 days ago)
       Stupid Stupid Stupid...thats all I can say today at this very moment...to everything....Things suck....and I know I have myself to blame partially....but I am confused and very unhappy....
       A lot of stupid ideas got into my head today...there were times I was about to do the most stupid thing ever....but there will be times when I wont be able to control and hold on to these thoughts anymore....I am always good with keeping things to myself....but there have been times when I just let things go....and I dont want that to happen....I am going to sleep now...hopefully sleep will help to calm me down....since it didnt help me at all last nite....got even moodier this morning....but tomorrow I want to be back to normal again....

2007/8/3

and here I am again

@ 07:00 PM (16 months, 9 days ago)
    Hi there all, long long time no see.....haven't got time to seriously sit down and enter any blogs for nearly 2 months....
    Just woke up today....and feeling a bit mixed up inside...with all the unhappiness of things in life....
    I have been feeling very content since going out with Thupten...really happy and calm....but feeling like there is still sth missing out of those happiness...maybe my family...I start to miss them dearly lately....and my older bro...havent heard from him for 6 months...I wish all the best for him...wanna talk to him again....
    The grey cloudy sky, the rain, the cold....all of those things making everything around me look so doomed....
    But yeah woke up just then, and all of these thoughts came up to my mind...thought would be wise to write them down so I dont keep them bottling up inside....
    Anyway I will cya all soon k...(maybe not really soon lol)